


I'm glad you're no angel

by justlittleoldunkillableme (AmbecaWatson)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Implied Crowley/Sam Winchester, M/M, original dialogue S9Ep10, original dialogue S9Ep12, set after S9Ep3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-03
Updated: 2014-02-03
Packaged: 2018-01-11 02:31:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1167577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmbecaWatson/pseuds/justlittleoldunkillableme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How would things have gone if Dean had the courage to kiss Cas goodbye before he left the bunker and Gabriel had turned up again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm glad you're no angel

“Listen man, you can’t stay.” said Dean, his heart shattering inside him just as much as the same visibly held true for Castiel’s heart. His eyes were wide open and he looked like his whole reason to live had shattered. The both of them sat there and didn’t know what to say. Finally, Cas mustered up his last energy to say: “Well if that’s the case, I’ll assemble my belongings and go.”  
“You do that, I’ll walk you out” said Dean.  
A few minutes later Dean and Cas stood outside the bunker, still both very silent.  
Dean cleared his throat to say: “Listen man, it’s not that I’m not happy to have you here, it’s just complicated. I promise you that I will explain everything later.”  
“Yes” said Castiel, not trusting himself to say more. Dean had always gotten under his skin, even when he was an angel, but now he could feel even more the devastation of Dean sending him away and it broke his heart. “Well, I should be going now, goodbye Dean” he said. He awkwardly raised his arms to show Dean that he wanted to hug him.  
Dean smiled with a pained expression. “Ok, c’mere buddy” and he pulled Cas into a crunching hug that neither of them wanted to let go. Cas felt strange, he sensed everything that Dean was feeling because he knew him so well and now he felt just the same. He started to wriggle out of the clenching hug a little only to look Dean in the eyes, still not letting go of him. Dean could have sworn he saw actual tears in Cas’ electric blue eyes. He looked at Cas’ quivering mouth which showed that he was about to wail. Something else drew him in about Cas’ mouth. Screw all of this to hell, I can’t, he thought and closed the space between them to kiss Cas. Cas was confused even though he had kissed before. He had kissed Meg and lately he had kissed and had sex with April, but this was different. It was Dean kissing him, for which he had hoped ever since he first saw him. He leaned into him and Dean raised both his hands and laid them on both sides of Cas’ head. He never wanted to let the kiss end, because he knew that because of Ezekiel, Cas had to leave him for god knows how long.  
Dean hated the supernatural creatures even though he had met some monsters who tried to be good and he’d never considered emotional attachment to a supernatural being like his brother had done with that werewolf or that demon Ruby that he banged. But Cas had always been different, the bond they shared was profound and definitely not platonic, but Dean could not see anything else than a very close friendship between them until they both ended up in Purgatory. The minute he and Benny had found Cas and he had run to hug him tight he knew that he couldn’t lie to himself anymore. In Purgatory there hadn’t been time to talk about this realization he had and after Dean left Purgatory with Benny’s soul and Cas stayed behind, his feelings didn’t seem to matter much. When Cas came out of the bathroom after he had come back from Purgatory, Dean would have been the greatest liar in the world could he have convinced himself that he didn’t have a boner when he saw his Cas like he was supposed to look. Naomi’s grasp on Cas had prevented anything ever happening, even when Dean wanted to allow Cas to ride shotgun, which in his view not only meant that he was family but that he needed him in his life, just as much as his brother. Cas turned the offer down and Dean’s feelings were crushed once more.  
After Cas had lost his grace and was fully human there could be nothing else to stop them from being together and if Sammy was fully healed and the angel inside him could leave, nothing would prevent him from having Cas. But then Ezekiel pulled the I am in danger card and Dean had to send Cas away. How was he supposed to do something that he simply couldn’t bring himself to do? He couldn’t let Cas go without promising him that there would be a way back for him and he couldn’t think of a better way to promise this than to kiss him and at last tell him how he felt. When Cas was gone they could come to terms with the alteration in their relationship and when everything was back to normal they could both start something, no matter how socially awkward the situation would be when they saw each other next. Such was Dean’s plan as soon as he’d gotten rid of the angel inside of his brother who started to behave very oddly.  
He still held Cas tight and licked Cas lips for him to open his mouth to let them intertwine their tongues, when they heard from behind them: “Uh, I did not come back from M.I.A. , just to walk right into the beginnings of a gay porn flick.” Dean and Cas burst apart busted and both turned red as crimson to see who had interrupted their passionate goodbye. Both of them could not believe their eyes when they saw who it was.  
“Surprise bitches” said the man in front of them biting into a snickers with enthusiasm. “Bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.” It was the believed to be dead archangel/trickster Gabriel.

“Is it really you?” said Dean as if he was just struck by lightning.  
“In the flesh.”  
“But how? Lucifer stabbed your lights out didn’t he?”  
“Helloooo trickster” said Gabriel circling his face with his finger, like he had done once before. “You don’t think I can create two illusions? It’s not like I haven’t faked my own death before, don’t you remember, Deano?”  
Dean could vaguely remember the first time he and Sammy had encountered Gabriel, who at that time still called himself the trickster. He just wanted to say that he was glad that after all Gabriel was still alive, when Cas suddenly sprang forth and pressed Gabriel against the wall of the bunker with his hands on his throat. Gabriel was obviously so surprised by this that he made to attempt to stop him even though he could easily have done that.  
“You three times cursed idiotic assbutt!” He hit Gabriel in the nose. “Now after all this time, you come back?” He hit him again, this time he hit his cheek bone. “We could have needed your help sooner.” He smashed Gabriel against the wall again. “All this time and all the shit that’s happened and now you show your face?” He hit the other side of Gabriel’s face.  
“C’mon man, you gotta chill” said Dean and pulled Cas away from the flabbergasted Gabriel.  
“He could have stopped all of this Dean, he could have stopped the angels from falling, he could have helped to find a way to board up hell without killing anyone, he could have read the tablets and helped with the leviathans, he could have even helped me on the right track against Raphael so I’d never have gone in league with Crowley and Sam never would have lost his soul.”  
“Yeah, maybe, but things are as they are and you’re not making anything better by beating the crap outta him.”  
“Well actually barko, he didn’t. Seems like you’re losing your touch Castiel. You hit like a human these days,” said Gabriel, already healing himself. He looked at Cas, who had suddenly become rigid and looked away from him. “Unless shit, Cassie, you are. You are human! What did you do, wasn’t the pain of your boyfriend topping you enough, did you need the pain of ripping out our grace to be human for our Dean here?”  
Dean and Cas turned red again and Cas seemed ready a try and hit Gabriel once more. Dean held him back and stammered: “It’s not, we never…” Dean’s words trailed off. God, this was even more awkward than he could have imagined, but of course when he let this boundaries fall with Cas he never included a sassy back from the dead archangel looming over their coming together into his calculations.  
“Well, I don’t know about you folks, but I could use some freshening up and something to eat. Any chance of that here?”  
“Yeah, but I don’t think it’s a good idea and Cas was just leaving”, said Dean, thinking of Ezekiel.  
“I ain’t having that, Dean. You are going to tell me all that has happened and I see how I can help you muttonheads through whatever trouble you’re in now.”  
“Who says we’re in trouble?”  
“You’re always in trouble. For instance, where is that handsome brother of yours? I’d like to see him.”  
Dean flinched a tiny bit, almost invisibly, but Gabriel noticed it. “See, you’re always in trouble. Any anyway, I can sense there is an angel in there, whatever in there is.”  
“What?” said Cas, looking hurt again, because Dean hadn’t told him anything.  
There was no beating about the bush, now.  
“Yeah Cas, that’s what I couldn’t tell you. When Sammy stopped the trials he was hurt real bad, and an angel came to heal him from the inside.”  
“What?” said Cas again, disbelievingly. “Sam never would have consented to possession.”  
“Yeah, I know, I tricked him. ”  
“Dean, that was wrong of you!”  
“What was I supposed to do, huh? Sammy was dying, it was my only chance to save him.”  
“I hate to interrupt,” said Gabriel, “but you forgot who’s back in town.”  
“You can heal Sam?”  
“Yeah, sometimes being an archangel, even one in disguise, has it’s privileges.”  
“Wow, then we can tell Ezekiel, we don’t need him anymore and he is free to go.” And Cas can stay with us, added Dean in thought. This wouldn’t be awkward at all.  
“Ezekiel?”  
“Yeah, the name of the angel healing Sam.”  
“I hate to disappoint you, Dean, but that angel in there isn’t Ezekiel. I may have been undercover, but I still heard angel radio. They have a whole frequency just for the angels who died falling from heaven, as a memorandum, and Ezekiel was one of them.”  
Now, it was Dean’s turn to disbelievingly say:”What?”  
“Why don’t we go and find that darling brother of yours, huh?”  
“Ok, let’s do this.” said Dean, opening the door to the bunker and Gabriel went inside. “Cas, you coming?”  
“I thought I should leave?”  
“No need for that anymore, the angel who isn’t Ezekiel was the reason I send you away, but now Gabriel is here…” he didn’t end his sentence.  
“So that was the reason you wanted me gone?” Cas came closer to the door in which Dean was still standing.  
“I didn’t want you gone, I’m glad you’re here, it’s just Ezekiel said you were putting him in danger.”  
“I’m putting all of you in danger, just by being here, Dean. Perhaps I really should leave.” Cas wanted to turn around again but Dean stretched out his hand to hold him.  
“No need for that, we can look after ourselves and man, I don’t want you to go. No one is more pleased you’re here than me.”  
“Really?” Cas stepped closer.  
“Yeah”, Dean said pulling Cas fully towards him. Cas laid his arms around Dean’s middle and looked at him adoringly bringing his face closer to Dean’s. A second before their mouths connected again, Gabriel’s voice came from somewhere inside: “Are you coming in or do you need an hour to hump out there?”  
“I don’t understand”, said Cas, looking confusedly at Dean from only an inches distance. “Why should we be shifting rocks?”  
“He didn’t mean hump as in rock, he meant…” started Dean. That’s what happens to a dude, who doesn’t want social awkwardness and ends up falling for a socially awkward angel. “You know what, nevermind. I’ll explain later” and with that he closed the door of the bunker to shut out the growing darkness outside.

They were standing in the Men of Letters Library now. “Sammy? You here? You’ll never believe who’s turned up.”  
They heard Sam’s voice coming from the storeroom where they had locked Crowley up. “Has Cas decided to stay after all?” he shouted down the hall.  
When they all got down there Dean said: “Yes he did, but look who is here.”  
Finally Sam looked up from the folder he was musing over.  
“Gabriel?” Sam was totally aghast. “This is not possible. You died.”  
“No, kiddo. It was just another magic trick.” said Gabriel. If the fact his heart was racing since he set eyes on Sam again was also a magic trick can’t be certain.  
“Oh my, what a lovely gathering” said Crowley at this point who was sitting as usual in his chair inside the devil’s trap.  
Dean cleared his throat to break the gaze of his brother and the archangel and to shut out Crowley.  
“Uh, Sammy. I have a confession to make.” He wanted to get this over as soon as possible before the lying angel who had tricked him found a way to block Sam out again, even if it meant that Crowley could hear what he said.  
“Yeah?” said Sam tearing his gaze from Gabriel and looking at his brother suspiciously.  
“After the last trial you were in pretty bad shape.”  
“Yeah don’t I know it.”  
“No, actually you don’t know it. You were dying, Sammy.”  
“No, I wasn’t. I feel fine.”  
“Well, you’re not. You were in hospital and the docs were saying you’d die.You seriously don’t remember anything?”  
“No, I don’t. You’re saying I was close to death? Then how come I’m alive?”  
“Yeah, well, that’s what I need to tell you.”  
“Dean, what the hell did you do?”  
“You gotta understand, I had no other choice. You were dying, so I let an angel in.”  
“In where, in me?”  
“Yeah. He said he could get healing from the inside so I tricked you into saying yes.” It appeared as if Sam wasn’t listening anymore and Dean said:“Do you hear me?”  
“I can understand you perfectly Dean. I’m guessing you’re not gonna tell me why you decided to tell Sam the truth now?” the angel who pretended to be Ezekiel spoke with Sam’s voice. Had it been Ezekiel he had been talking to the whole time? Dean grew angry.  
“Yeah, that’s rich coming from you. You’re the one who lied from the get go. Who are you, heh? Cause you’re damn well not Ezekiel.” The angel used Sam’s features to show a guileful grin that showed only too plainly that he wouldn’t answer him.  
Gabriel however had recognized the angel immediately: “Dean, that’s Gadreel.”  
“Never heard of him. That mean something to you, Cas?”  
“He’s been imprisoned since the dawn of time. Gadreel was the one who allowed Lucifer into the garden.  
“The garden like Eden? Adam and Eve?”  
“It’s his fault, all of it. The corruption of men, demons, hell. God left because of him. The archangels-” he paused as if he wanted to say more but began again with: “The apocalypse, if he hadn’t been so weak none of this would have happened.” He seemed ready to punch the second angel today but Dean held him back once more. He was human after all and he wouldn’t let him get too close to an angel who probably wouldn’t take his assaults so easy as Gabriel.  
“You ruined the universe you damn son of a bitch.”  
“Cas, Cas, hey” Dean forced Cas away from the intruding angel and locked eyes with him.  
“Dean he-”  
“I get it. but you gotta chill,” he said calmingly.  
Cas pushed off Dean’s hand from his shoulder and broke the eye contact. Dean raised his hands to soothe him. He was upset and Dean could understand, now that he knew who was inside his brother it wasn’t easy for him either and he felt guilty as hell for ever allowing this to happen.  
Gabriel in the mean time had been busy with Gadreel. He wasn’t one of the angels trained for combat, but this lowly treacherous angel didn’t have anything on him and he overtook him quickly.  
One good kick and Gadreel flew into a wall and before he could get back up, Gabriel had already produced cuffs with binding spells on them and had bound Gadreel in a matter of seconds.  
Dean stared and asked: “You know how to work these?”  
“Really Dean, you forget who I am. Who do you think taught the first Men of Letters, hm?”  
“I’m guessing, you?”  
“Full marks, pretty boy. Now we gotta get him somewhere secure before we can even begin to think about getting him out of Sam. Is there somewhere we could do that?”  
“The parlor is a bit full at the moment” said Dean. Gabriel looked towards the demon.  
“Name’s Crowley, King of Hell.”  
Apparently it was just such a day where everyone couldn’t believe what they heard, because now it was Gabriel’s turn to ask “What?” disbelievingly.  
“Yeah, it’s a long story” said Dean exhaustedly.  
“I think it will have to wait until we cast Gadreel out, which won’t be easy.”  
“Why won’t it be easy? You have archangel and trickster mojo. Do it now, get in there and kick that lying son of a bitch out.”  
Cas raised his voice at this point: “It might work, but he can’t possess a vessel without permission.”  
Crowley cleared his throat meaningfully at this point.  
“No not happening” said Dean curtly.  
“Don’t be daft, demons can take what they want. I can borrow into that rat’s nest of a head, I can wake Sam up. Let’s call me plan C, for Crowley.”  
“No” said Castiel and Gabriel almost instantly.  
“Got a better idea?" he looked at Gabe and Cas hopefully as if to say ‘please find another way’ but obviously they couldn’t think of anything, but looked at Dean stunned.  
“What about the angel”, Dean asked Crowley.  
“I’ll work fast”  
“And what if he finds you?”  
“I’ll run, I’m not dying for you lot. Course if i’m gonna do this you’re gonna have too-” he gestured at his cuffs.  
“-take of the leash yeah I know.”  
“And it stays off!” Crowley said forcibly. “I save Sam i leave here a free man. Do we have a deal?”  
Dean looked at Crowley shortly then looked at the ground looking like something shattered inside of him.  
“Gabe, burn off Sam’s tattoo”, he was admitting defeat, to save his brother.  
“Dean” said Cas as if he still wasn’t convinced this as a good idea.  
“Do it, do it” said Dean to Gabriel, still looking on the same spot of the ground and ignoring Cas’ tone. Gabriel obviously didn’t know any other way so he went over and took Sam’s tattoo off while the bound Gadreel glared at him.  
Dean turned to Crowley: “If you mess with Sam if you try anything-”  
“I keep my bargains. Besides I don’t wanna be inside your brother any longer than I have to. At least not this way”, he said while smirking at Gabriel who seemed angry at these words. “I want Sam to invite me in and I mean this in a sexy way”, he owned the audacity to even wink at Gabriel when he said this. “I’m not one for sloppy seconds.” Something was very wrong here it seemed like Gabriel and Crowley were fighting about Sammy. Gabriel, alright, he had always liked Sam the most, if Dean turned towards Cas, could it be unthinkable that the younger brother also turned towards someone? No, that would be alright, after all they had thought they lost Gabriel and now he was back and obviously into Sam, but Crowley? Suddenly, completely unbidden, an image of Crowley in his shackles with Sam in a corset and high heels holding a riding crop came up in Dean’s mind. He flinched at the mental image, which he hoped wouldn’t scar him for life and would disappear soon. He abruptly snapped out of the thought and went over to Crowley to undo the cuffs.  
“When you find him say Poughkeepsie.” Crowley squinted his eyes a little as if to say he didn’t understand. “It’s our code word. It means drop everything and run.”  
“Fine, while I’m gone- hands off the suit.”  
“I will destroy you” said Gadreel while Gabriel held him down.  
“Eat me” and then Crowley left the body he was in to enter Sam’s through his mouth. In a way one could say Gadreel really did eat him.

Dean paced the room. Gabriel was utterly focused on Sam and doubtlessly tried to edge Crowley on to help Sam, by pure power of will. There was little else he could do.  
Cas looked at Dean whose mind was obviously perturbed.  
“Dean.”  
“I was so damn stupid. I got played.”  
“I thought I was saving heaven, I got played, too.”  
“So you’re saying we’re both a couple of dumbasses?”  
“I prefer the word trusting, less dumb less ass.”  
“But that just leaves a couple.”  
“Yes it does.” Cas grinned shyly and despite everything that was happening Dean couldn’t help but smile back.

Another 5 minutes later Dean started to get anxious again.  
“Demon and an angel walk into my brother, sounds like a bad joke.”  
“Dean if this doesn’t work…” Cas obviously didn’t know how to continue.  
“It’ll work.” Dean needed it to work, even though the situation seemed hopeless and he didn’t know if Crowley would succeed. Gabriel hadn’t said a word for the last minutes and looked just as worried as Dean. “Let it work” was what all three people who weren’t inside of Sam thought at that moment.

Meanwhile somewhere in the mental imagery of Sam, Crowley had finally found Sam’s conscious self, the only thing that could cast Gadreel out.  
“Poughkeepsie.”  
“How do you know that word?” He was frightened when Crowley turned up out of the blue and that he said his and Dean’s codeword didn’t help too much.  
“Because Dean send me. I’ll make this quick, you’re possessed by an angel, he’s got you packed away in some dusty corner of your own mind and I’m here to break you out.”  
Sam stared at him disbelievingly. It really would go down in the family history of the Winchesters as the day when nobody could believe what they were hearing: “Seriously?”  
“I know how possession works Sam, you’ve seen everything that he’s seen, even if you can’t remember. That’s what i need you to do, I need you to remember. I need you to take control Sam, blow it up and cast THAT PUNKASS HOLY ROLER OUT.” Crowley shouted at Sam. Sam looked into his memories and saw everything that had happened. Obviously Crowley was telling the truth. Sam looked up over Crowley’s head, and he asked: “What?” and when Sam didn’t answer him he knew that Gadreel was behind him: “Oh bollocks.” He was thrown through Sam’s mental representation of the Men of Letters Library and was kicked further by Gadreel when Sam came over to help him.  
“Take control Sam, cast him out.”  
Sam fought Gadreel for control of his own head. “Get out of my-” but Gadreel cut of his voice by choking him. Sam kicked Gadreel who landed on the ground and in a second Sam stepped on his neck and said very clearly: “I said: Get. The hell. Out.”

In the storeroom three people were very relieved to see a whiff of bluish light emerge from Sam’s throat and disappear. A few seconds later a whiff of red smoke left Sam’s mouth and flew back into Crowley’s meat suit.

The three of them all went to see if Sam was alright.  
“Fine thanks for asking” said Crowley a little bitterly, but no one took any notice of him.  
“Sam, are you ok?” said Cas.  
“Cas?” Then he saw who else was there. He could remember everything that had happened before, otherwise he would have had the shock of his life at seeing Gabriel again.  
“Gabriel?”  
“Yeah, Sam, I’m here” he clasped his hand.  
Crowley obviously had to spoil the mood again: “Can you tell me why I’m bound again, not that I don’t enjoy that sort of thing, particularly if Samantha would be the one tying me up, but didn’t we have a deal?”  
Dean turned to him and said:“I’m gonna walk you out the way you came in, blindfolded and bound and Gabe’s gonna set you free when you’re a couple a hundred miles away from here.”  
“Is this how you keep your promises?”  
“Hey, I keep my word, I just don’t want you to be able to find us again. Just so you know: This don’t make us square, I see you again-”  
“I’m dead, yeah I know, I love you, too.” He cast a look at Sam who already sat up, still holding Gabriel’s hand for support. Obviously Sam didn’t want to say anything to him and Crowley disappointedly closed with: “Pleasure doing business with you boys, as always.”

An hour later, Gabriel had healed Sam of some of the burns that still were left in him and he and Dean walked Crowley out of the bunker, just the way he had come in, while Cas and Sam sat down in the kitchen.  
“You feel better?” asked Cas.  
“A little, yeah.”  
“It’ll take time to fully heal you, we’ll have to do it in stages. But I guess Gabriel will be up to the task.”  
“That’s great, Cas. I’m glad he’s back.”  
“And I am glad that we’re all here. It’s gonna be alright.”  
“I don’t believe I’ve ever heard you being so positive.”  
“Yeah, well, I guess being human changed me. I know, you must be very upset, but I’d advise you not to be too hard on Dean. I find that human emotions can be very overwhelming, especially negative ones. He did what he thought was best, because he didn’t want to lose you and even though the whole concept of loss still seems strange to me, I’m beginning to understand what that can do to a person. I see you and how you changed even in the last hour when you realized Gabriel wasn’t dead. It changed my view of you. We both have screwed up things continuously but I can relate to how you feel now. You seem content, so please don’t alienate Dean. It would only cause distress for all of us.”  
Sam looked at Cas as if he couldn’t believe what he had heard. He didn’t know what to say, but he felt that this day had not only brought Gabriel back to them, but brought a deeper friendship between Sam and Cas, because they could now fully understand each other.  
“Thanks for everything, Cas.” Sam pulled Cas into a hug. After a little awkwardness Cas hugged him back. They hugged for a moment and when they let go and Cas asked: “Shall I make some coffee?”  
Sam laughed a little. “Wow, you really are fully human, aren’t you?”

Dean came into the kitchen looking at Sam and gave a quick look to Cas, who understood immediately and left the kitchen. Dean sat down and said: “Alright lemme hear it.”  
“What do you want me to say? I’m pissed? Ok I am yeah, I’m pissed you lied to me, again.”  
“I didn’t have a choice.”  
“I was ready to die, Dean.”  
“I know but I wouldn’t let you because that’s not in me.”  
“So what? You decide to trick me into being possessed by some psycho angel?”  
“He saved your life.”  
“So what, I was willing to die.”  
“C’mon Sammy, it’s not all that bad. I mean it could have been worse. He could have taken your body and joined up with other angels out there, or he could have killed one of us. Now that he’s gone, things ain’t half bad” he finished smilingly, thinking about Cas and the promise of something new and exciting between them.  
Sam looked at Dean, not sure what had gotten into his brother and why he looked so much more hopeful and more like the man he was before he went to hell. He seemed happier than he’d been in years and then Sam felt that he too was happy, despite Dean lying to him once more. He was right it could have been much worse.  
“Alright, we’ll work it out” said Sam. “You want a beer?”  
At that moment, Kevin entered the kitchen. “Hey, guys. Did I miss something?”  
“Not too much, but were down two people we didn’t want and up by two people we do want” said Dean.  
“You gotta explain, I don’t get it” said Kevin.  
“Let’s say, we have a reason to celebrate and a promise to make, no more lies and no more dealings with douchebags, hm?” said Sam giving Dean a beer and Kevin a coke.  
“Yeah, let’s drink to that” said Dean, relieved that his brother had for the moment at least seemingly forgiven him. Something told him he had Cas to thank for that.

Dean stood outside of the bunker, waiting for Gabriel to come back. He had said before he left with Crowley, that he needed someone to pray to him, to find the way back, and the person should be standing outside the bunker, because he could not zap in there. So Dean stood out here and started praying: “I pray to Gabriel to bring his ass down here.”  
“And here is my ass” said Gabriel suddenly standing in front of Dean.  
“How’d it go?”  
“Well Crowley was very chatty with me and after he said some unflattering remarks about Sam, I had to improve his face a little.”  
“What’d he say?”  
“Nothing very important.” Gabriel stood there, thinking, and then asked Dean: “Do you happen to know if Sammy really owns a corset?”  
The mental image Dean had before turned up again and he shook his head wildly to get it out of there. “I don’t think so.” He meant this in a larger context to assure Gabriel that whatever Crowley had said, it probably wasn’t true. Gabriel obviously got what Dean meant and seemed relieved, perhaps a little too much so, because his next question was: “How long have you and our darling Cassie been an item?”  
“We aren’t, I mean sort of, but uh… I mean it’s not… I don’t have a good explanation” stammered Dean.  
“I see.” They both looked at each other with mutual understanding and it seemed to Dean that the two people they had gotten back today, were here to stay. 

Gabriel was in search of Sam. He found him in the library, reading a bit. He looked up when he heard steps and smiled when he saw Gabriel.  
“You’re back?”  
“Did you think I’d leave without at least saying goodbye?”  
“Not like you haven’t done it before.”  
“Point made.” Gabriel said admittingly. “But I thought I might stay here with you guys for a while, if that would be alright with you. Dean has already said yes, but he said I should ask you, too.”  
“On one condition.”  
“Yes?”  
“Promise not to kill anyone of us for fun again, even if it isn’t real?”  
“Promise.”  
“Well that’s a start.”  
“If you don’t mind, Sam I’d like to start something else as well.” Gabriel came closer and took Sam’s hand again like he had done when Sam had been fighting Gadreel. Sam looked at their hands and then at Gabriel’s brown eyes that shone very brightly and he felt his heart moved.  
“I’d like that.” Gabriel practically beamed at him and said enthusiastically: “Let’s go on a date, just you and me.”  
“Now? It’s sorta late.”  
“You forget what I can do, I could get anything you want right here.”  
“Right now, there is only one thing that I want and that is sleep. I’m totally exhausted.”  
“I understand. You go to sleep, we can do this another time.” He looked disappointed and Sammy said to him: “You could stay with me.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah.”  
A few minutes later, Sam had gotten ready for bed and Gabriel sat on the edge of his bed, holding Sam’s hand once more. Sam looked at Gabriel sleepily.  
“Tell me something.”  
“What?”  
“Why were you gone for so long and let us believe you were dead?”  
“I saw a change to slip of the radar again. I needed peace from all the angels.”  
“And what convinced you to come out of hiding again?”  
“I don’t really know. All I do know is that I’ve turned up here just in time it would seem. Seems almost like an heavenly intervention, if you believe in that sort of thing.”  
“I’d like to believe that.”  
“There is something else I’d like to ask you, Sammy.”  
“What?”  
Gabriel came closer so he didn’t need to say the next words too loudly.  
“Did you really play S&M games with Crowley while he was in your dungeon?”  
“Did he tell you that?”  
“Hm, he did.”  
“Demons lie.” Sammy’s eyes were closing.  
“Ok, you sleep now.” Gabriel gave him a featherlight kiss.  
“Don’t leave me” said Sam, almost asleep already.  
“Never again, Sammy” said Gabriel, lying down next to Sam.

Dean had explained everything that happened to Kevin. He had been pissed that he hadn’t told him of anything and that he had let Crowley go just like this.  
“We should have killed him, just like he killed my mom.”  
“Look, Kev, I know you want revenge, but that isn’t the way to go. Seeking revenge just makes people bitter and if you go down that road you won’t like where you end up. Anyways, if we cross paths with Crowley again and he tries to screw us over, we’ll kill him. But you also gotta pay your debts, that’s a question of honour.”  
“Yeah, I guess so.”  
“See, don’t ever say I taught you nothing. You should get to bed it’s late.”  
“You’re right.” Kevin stood up from the kitchen table to get to bed. In the doorway he turned: “And what about you, aren’t you going to sleep?”  
“Not yet, no. You haven’t seen Cas, have you?”  
“I saw him go into your room when I got down here.”  
“Ok.” Kevin turned when Dean called after him: “Hey Kev, I’m sorry.”  
“For what?”  
“For leaving you alone with the angel that was inside of Sam. I didn’t protect you from him, I didn’t think it was necessary. Turns out the dude was a first class psycho.”  
“You weren’t to know, Dean.”  
“Yeah, but I should’ve protected you. I’m just glad you’re alright that’s all. I’m glad we’re all alright.”  
“Yeah, me too.” said Kevin looking up at Dean as if to say that he was thankful for Dean to include him in the family. It maybe wasn’t perfect. They all had lost people they cared about, but all of them sticking together like family was something special.  
“Night, Dean.”  
“Night, Kev.”

Dean went into his room to find Cas sitting at his desk, reading. Dean’s heart melted when he saw Cas comfortable and relaxed and he smiled at him. Cas looked up. “Hello, Dean.”  
“Hey you, what are you reading?”  
“Just one of the books you had in here, it’s called ‘A Game of Thrones’.”  
“Yeah, that’s Sammy’s, he wanted me to read that, the old nerd.”  
“I don’t know, I kinda like it, even though it is very brutal at times.”  
“There is a TV Series about that, perhaps I should pick that up soon, and we could have a, you know, slumber party or something. We could invite Charlie over and she would totally want to braid Sam’s and Gabe’s hair.”  
“That’d be hilarious, I’d like that.”  
Dean didn’t know what else he could say. Talking about books and TV series was easy, but there was an elephant in the room that needed talking about and he didn’t know how to start. Cas looked at him trustingly but confused, still holding the book. Dean had to say something, but he couldn’t think of a single thing. “This is awkward.”  
“What is awkward? I know you say that a lot, but I don’t quite get it. I know when humans say something like that they usually have a feeling inside of them that makes them say things, but I can’t say I can fully understand awkwardness, yet.”  
“Awkward situations are difficult or when you feel embarrassed.”  
“Oh, I see. And are you embarrassed, right now?”  
“Sort of, but not really… I don’t know.” Cas tilted his head and looked confused. “I don’t understand.”  
Dean licked his lips in search of a way to express what he felt. He tried to explain: “Listen, I kissed you.”  
“I remember.”  
“Yeah, I imagine you would. I thought you were leaving and I wanted to make sure that you knew I didn’t send you away because I wanted to. I guess I want us to be together, not just like friends.”  
“I perfectly understand, Dean.”  
“Do you?”  
“Yes, you want to have intercourse. I have had some practice with that lately and you know I am utterly indifferent to sexual orientation.” Ok, that raised the awkwardness level around 500%.  
“Oh god, this is even worse than I thought.” There was nothing for it, but to explain to Cas what kind of feelings had been growing inside of him towards the former angel ever since they first saw each other all those years ago when he and Bobby had summoned Cas, back when they still thought he was a high class demon. He talked about how he felt closer to Cas than to every human he had ever shown romantic or sexual interest in and how he had felt on that day he found Cas in Purgatory and how he couldn’t lie to himself anymore. He concluded with: “And today, I couldn’t stand it anymore, I had to do something to show you how I feel and that’s why I kissed you.”  
The situation that gotten less awkward for Dean while he talked and now he looked at Cas without restrains or awkwardness but with the same expression he had looked upon him, before he decided to kiss him today and with the happy expression he had shown only around Cas since he came back from hell. It appeared as if 5 years of weight had been lifted from his shoulders, not only the weight of the care for a whole world but also the struggle to keep his feelings for Cas hidden.  
Cas asked him: “When precisely did you first feel like this for me, Dean?”  
“You could rather ask me when I didn’t feel for you like this.” he said jestingly.  
“Alright, when didn’t you feel like this?”  
Dean groaned. He loved the guy to bits, but he never really got the whole concept of irony.  
“Never, Cas, I always loved you.”  
Cas’ eyes widened, because he finally understood. Since he had become human he completely grasped the concept of love even though it was so ridiculously complicated sometimes. He had seen love when he made his first steps in the human world. He had seen how a mother loves her child and had seen how people, who were in love, behaved. When he looked at Dean, he had this feeling in his chest that he now could clearly attribute to being in love. Love as humans understand it wasn’t just intercourse like he had had with April, but there was so much more that one felt when you were in love. He had felt a strong pull towards Dean even when he was an angel, but now since they were both human, things were completely different. Cas could reciprocate Dean’s love without any restraints or fears of being pulled away to obey orders. He had never before heard Dean utter the words “I love you” but he liked that he said it to him and Dean would be the only person he’d ever say something similar to. “I love you too, Dean.” These words were simple to say, but they meant all the difference in the world. Dean grinned broadly and felt like his heart was at least two sizes too big for his chest. He took both of Cas’ hands, pulled him towards him and cradled him in his arms, never wanting to let go of him again. In mutual understanding they searched for the mouth of the other and in a tangle of limbs sank down on Dean’s bed.

Hours later they had exhausted themselves and lay on Dean’s bed holding on to each other.  
Dean felt good, better than he usually felt after sleeping with someone. This could have something to do with the fact that it was unlikely that he would have to say adiós to Cas.  
He looked at Cas with his flustered hair and flushed face right next to him and he smiled brightly.  
“Why are you smiling?”  
“I’m happy Cas, that’s all. You’re here with me and we’re all save. We can be together, I feel like everything is just good, for once.”  
“Yes, but I am no angel.”  
“I’m glad you’re no angel. Aren’t you?”  
Cas thought about his situation a second. He certainly wasn’t an angel anymore, but he was with Dean and that was the best thing that ever happened to him. He could learn to be a human, Dean could teach him more about it. He decided he could live without his powers, but he couldn’t live without Dean. “I’m glad to be with you.”  
They would still be hunting monsters and trying to save the crappy world every day, but things had changed and Dean got something of the air back from the man he was before hell. He had hope and enjoyed life and he’d be damned if he wouldn’t hold on to what he had with all he could give. Who cares where happiness comes from. When you’ve got something, you don’t let that go, or you’ll never forgive yourself. He would fight for his family and protect them, because he had finally gotten what he always wanted, maybe not the way he’d expected it, but he had a home and a family and had found the one person who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Nothing could be better than that. With this happy thought in his head and with Cas’ arms around his middle Dean went to sleep after a day full of surprises.


End file.
